Discovering self and Downtown LA

I have waited a long time to do this. A very long time.
I started blogging on September 25,2007, the day I moved into the Marshall House. It took se veral attempts to complete a blog as the computer kept going on the blink. I had to get used to its personality. I blogged on the computer many times. Many times it took more than a few attempts to complete the blog. I could not upload pictures, I could only do text. Many times I would run over to the Transition House to upload a photo and finish with the text at the Marshall House orthe library.

My daily attempts to post my blog where like running an obstacle course, only I never knew from one day to the next if the obstacles were moved like they move the hole every day of a golf tournament. Don't get to comfortable with the environment you are playing in today because it will change tomorrow. If not then, then the day after that.

I wondered what it would feel like to blog in the middle of the night when I could hear my heart beat and nothing would distract me;No person arguing with another at the Central Library for the use of a computer; no rap music blasting from another terminal as the listener not only wanted to hear the music but the attention that he never received from whatever source that he deemed should have given it; no time deadline that would cut short the flow of creativity.

Editing my blog, are you kidding? I was happy just to get it posted. Many times I did not complete the title before the time deadlines at the library and it vanished in front of my eyes. Even if another computer was available, I had used the time alloted for each cardholder. I could not use it again to operate another computer until the next day.

Over the last few months, it became a contest. Determined to not let the time remaining impact greatly the detail of my writing, I focused harder to maintain the flow that at times was created.

I am not a writer of accomplishment but there are times when I felt that there was a certain fluidity that was coming effortessly. Those were precious times and times that needed to be absorbed for future duplication.

I walked marathon miles to do my blogs, at times feeling that I was not penetrating the surface of expression because I could not penetrate the depths of my soul and bring to the surface a well spring of descriptive presentation.

Due to changes in my circumstances, I am able to write at home. It has created many efficiencies and I am not yet accustomed to them though I shall work diligently to that end.

I have been so much on the go that I have not had the time to read other blogs. For the last few months I have kept my head down and just plunged away, trying to get to certain places, certain plateaus. Having accomplished a few things, I have a chance to learn how to manage my new situation.

It was great to see other blogs and hear the voices of people that I have met over the last few months, people that encouraged me to keep writing. It was also nice to see new names and read what their voices had to say.

In short, I felt a part of a community and as I said in the previous posting, feeling a part of something is a healthy and anchoring thing. I felt that warm feeling tonight and I could not rush home fast enough to capture the feeling.

I rode my bike down the street in a leisurely mode passing people who nodded to me along the way. I talked to the building manager outside of my building like a neighbor would talk to another in a small country town-not what you would expect on a Skid Row street.

I ran up the stairs with my bicycle, put down my bag,grabbed my camera and made my way to the roof where I took these shots.

I came back downstairs, uploaded the pictures and my fingers starting walking across the keys in a monologue to the people of downtown. Yes, to the people of Downtown Los Angeles. It is what I felt tonight- the community in its diversity and complexity. A beautiful tapestry of people, indeed.

I imagined myself sitting in a huge loft with a view of the city skyline and writing about them, telling stories about people, interesting people that live and work in the core of the city. I imagined being on the radio with a microphone, talking to people and wondering who, in the glitter of lights, would be listening to me as I spoke with love of my native city.

It is a nice feeling to feel what I feel now. The lights are off. I only hear the whir of the fan as it keeps me cool. People are on the streets walking to the bars. People are walking to their apartments after a night of gaity. Some are standing on street corners with nothing to do but alot that needs to be accomplished before they can rest their heads for the night. Each intersection of downtown is like a sibling with a different personality. Sometimes they get along wonderfully and sometimes they fight like worst enemies.

But we are family and I feel that tonight. This is where my journey has taken me.
I am peaceful tonight. It has come from a great deal of work and a great deal of help from other people. I am humbled by their many expressions of confidence in me, their trust in me.

It encourages me to trust myself and my future. Those words do not sound like they are coming from the same man who started talking to the world a few months ago.

But it is. The same man who is different and feels so different and sees things in different ways. There is much to discover in oneself I have learned. There is much to discover in downtown LA. It is a community that shines bright in its beautiful darkness at night like an outpost in unexplored land. There is much to discover and no doubt I will discover more each day. I worked hard to do so.

This is Scribeskidrow saying good night downtown Los Angeles. I love you.

Belonging, BAm-bam and togetherness

The Al-Ilympics were held on Saturday. it was an event that had the attention of everyone on Skid Row. Apparently it has been an on going event.

This year, like the last 4 or 5 years, it was held at Compton College. AT least a thousand people were there. Most of the different missions and non-profit organizations were represented in the different sporting events. I did not go but I heard a good time was had by all. Everyone came back in there blue teeshirts as if the came from a family reunion.

There is something that must be said here. I have said it in the past and I say it now and will most likely say it in the future.

When there is collaboration in Skid Row, something happens that is magical. Not only do things get done but everyone is uplifted. Just like the shooting of the Soloist. It was a team effort and everyone was involved. Everyone had to be involved for the undertaking to be successful.

I trust that this kind of cooperation inter-organization cooperation will continue
and expand into other areas. I believe that if all of the organizations banded together, some way, Skid Row could have a company located down here that could provide jobs--perhaps in the "Green Industries". Incentives could be created by the public officials, and the companies would enjoy tremendous goodwill.

Now don't ask me who, how or what. I do not know. I have some ideas and working on them. But it is just like anything else down here on Skid Row.

When I came here, I had nothing. I mean nothing. Five cents in my pocket and the clothes on my back. A year later and I have a job, and am in possession of my real estate license again. A year ago I thought life was hopeless.

Most people think that Skid Row is hopeless. And yet there are individuals who are working together to improve the community who are not listening to the prevailing status quo opinion.

The Skid Row Basketball League is a good example. The people feel a part of something. Everybody needs to feel like they are a part of something.
As each day of our lives comes and goes, it seems like we become more isolated. We become more lost out here.

The latest craze on the internet are networking sites. People join softball leagues and other categories of clubs of mutual interest to be around people--to belong.

I was in court one day and the lawyer who spoke my behalf spoke about how it was essential to connect people on Skid Row with their families to insure their continued recovery. At the time I understood what he was saying, vaguely, but I had no appreciation at all for it.

Two things happened that changed my total perspective.

I wrote a post about Steve Lopez. I basically commented on what I thought of his warmth and sincerity that he displayed on the Tavis Smiley show. About 3 weeks later I happened to notice that someone left a comment that I had not seen before.

I opened it and read the comment. It was from a man named Bam-Bam. Bam-Bam lives in the Lamp project on San Julian ST. He shared with people on my blog how he was a featured background artist on that movie set and how it changed his life.
Well, I was on that movie set and I watched every day what was going on.

Some of the extras were asked to do certain things and they did them. I walked up to Joe Wright, the director, and I told him that the reason the extras gave so much of themselves was because the crew treated the extras with extraodinary respect. I had been on many sets. I worked as an extra for two years while in between jobs, and in many cases you have a schism between crew and extras. It all depends on the attitudes of the star and directors. They set the tone of community or lack there of.

From day one Joe Wright and every part of the crew went out of the way to make everyone feel that they were respected and that their opinions and insights were needed.

There were people from the Lamp project who were given more latitude and had freedom to roam around all parts of the set. Joe Wright made a point of including them. You could see how they felt better about themselves, increasingly so, as each day went on. I am talking about people who have been physically, and thus, emotionally scarred. I am talking about people who have been excluded from feeling like they belonged to anything. I am talking about people who were disenfranchised from even those who have perenially been disenfranchised.

They way Joe Wright treated them, you could see that they had never been treated with such coutesy nor had they been embraced with such warmth and sincerity. Bam-Bam
said that that movie shoot changed his life forever because of the way he was treated.

I began to have a clue after I read his comment. Afterwards, I had my own experience. I saw my mother. I had not seen her in over a year. Had not spoken to her in over a year. It was a situation that I never could have imagined.
I felt a part of me had been cut out and

I have talked to many people on Skid Row. I talked to many men while sitting in jail. I was shocked at how common it was that men had not talked to their mothers in 10 to `15 years. I asked them were they estranged from their mothers and the ansswer was no. We all know of people who are estranged from family members for one reason or another. But these men told me that they just lost touch and many of them did not know how to get in touch with their mothers. It was something that was beyond my comprehension especially when I could not see mine and wanted to do so in the worst way.

While talking to these men, it was clear as the conversatons progressed that by not having that connection with family, these men had no connection with self. Many of them, I believe felt it was so natural because they came from communities where people felt disenfranchised from America at large. Therefore it was just a progression. As that progression continued so did their deterioration.

I was wrong when I said that mother's day softened people in Skid Row. I was talking from the perspective of a man who sat in the guard shack at the Transition House. That was the only perspective I had. At that time I never went out of the Transition House unless it was to the library. It was my sanctuary and security blanket.

When I returned from seeing my mother, I walked down San Julian streets. People were smoking crack. But they were not smoking crack like they usually do. It was frenetic. It was desperate. It was as if they were trying to dull a pain that surfaces every so often. I believe it is the pain they feel from dealing with something that is not a part of them any longer. It is the relationship between them and their mothers.

Men and women smoked back to back "hits". They rushed across the street to buy more if they had no more. I had never seen people smoke with such abandon like that before. They have not smoked like that since that day.

People who use drugs become used to separating themselves from themselves. The same thing holds true with people who abuse alcohol and prescribed medication. One becomes so separated that it becomes the norm and the norm is a feeling of constant internal chaos and like of piece.

Sure, I realized after time had passed how I not only separated myself from myself but I separated myself from my family. Of course, I did not know this while I was intoxicated. It was only after the fact that I saw the damage that had been done. But I did not come from an environment where separation was normal. Therefore it was easier for me to feel the profound abnormality of the experience of the people who have made a choice to disconnect from their families and thus from society. And they do not know how to get back.

When I came back home from mother's day there was something different I was feeling.
I feel it every day. I feel that what was cut out of me is returning. Not only the reconnection to my mother but a reconnection to my family. There has been a feeling reseeded of belonging. I no longer have the sickening feeling of being in forced exile. I slept better and that visit provided me with the fuel to keep striving. I was a part of my family again with the new insight as to what that means as it relates to responsibility and obligation-something that is performed with pleasure. I have also been more productive.

The Al-ilympics provided people of Skid Row with the feeling of belonging to something. The filming of the Soloist did the same thing. The set created a sense of family that is common on many sets where people have been together for any length of time. Both of these scenarios were came as a result of collaoratives efforts by the powers that be.

I believe strongly that the powers that be can collaborate on bringing corporate america to Skid Row. Think outside the box. Be creative. Be daring. Be fearless in the pursuit of change and lasting change at that.

People drive by Skid Row and they see people on the streets like the people in these pictures. But what they do not see are the people who are in programs who sit there every day and are learning how to work with computers. I was impressed with a student named Connie. Connie was a crack addict. She said she had to change her life. A couple of months ago Connie joined the Strive program. Connie had never touched a computer. I personally helped her set up an email account.

Over the last few weeks Connie has been working on a presentation. On Friday she unveiled it to me. It was done on Powerpoint. It was powerfully creative and she used advanced Powerpoint applications.

She is trying to find a job. There are many people like that on Skid Row that are not on the streets buying and selling drugs. Those that can bring about change must learn about the Connies that are doing their best to change their lives. And Connie had doubts about her ability to operate the computer. You would never know it by the presentation she produced. It was magnificent.

I have seen people change their lives. I have seen them change their lives while feeling they were a part of something. In the past I saw people change substantially from before the started boot camp and when they came out.
There was a sense of pride, a sense of camraderie that was embedded in their souls.
They belonged to something.

I see where Connie and others, as they progress in the STRIVE program, bond with each other. They start out as homeless individuals but they become a team, a force that is greater than themselves.

I believe that a company that plants itself on Skid Row will do so much. It will be a force greater than themselves. It will give people a sense of belonging.

The Skid Row Training programs can be a feeding mechanism into these jobs that need to be field. That is why cooperation, collaboration and integration of these programs is so badly needed. It will create a synergy that has not existed before.

There are many Connies out here. There are many Bam-Bams out here who are waiting and who are preparing themselves. These men and women are a part of society. They must be embraced. For if they are not, we, as a society, will not move forward.
We, as a society, will have something that is continued to be cut out of us and thus cut out of our soul. We can not be in denial of this. For if we continue to be in denial, that denial will destroy us.

Let us work to bring an industry or company down here. There is a growing labor force that is ready willing and able to prove themselves. Let us find a company or lets find a consortium of companies who are willing to take on a pro rata share of the risk, perceived and real, to embrace these men and women into society. It will be the beginning of something that will heal all of us whether we know it or not.

Clear Skies

Yesterday was my birthday and all of this week, the culmination of hard work has yielded so many changes. Wave after wave of change has come from planting seed after seed over a long period of time. There is constant overlapping and suddenly you look around or should I say I look inside and I am startled that I am at certain points.

I took time to clear out some things after I got the job, my license and some new clothes. all of those changes across the board is a tremendous manifestation of forces at work and they do have an impact. They have an impace on perspective and perspective has an impact on confidence and both of those drive improvements in productivity.

And that is what I am experiencing. And yes for months I could not figure out how to get those quotes. Each time I saw Don Garza's blog, with those quotes, I would say "Dam, I does he make those quotes." Every day I looked at the production bar and saw those quotes and it drove me crazy. It reminded me of how I could not upload pictures for at least a month when I started blogging.

I struggled to get my blog going for months. I walked all over downtown to make sure I posted my blog everyday. Sometimes I had to visit 4 or 5 computer labs every day to make sure things got done. I had to post. It kept me focused. It was also an avenue for growth. It would later turnout to be an indirect method of networking-another bi-product of the internet.

That discipline along with others across a horizontal category plane have eventually led to results. If you recall, I said I had to clear away the debris so I can see where I am and experience the benefits of the production of months of labor
and surviving shear terror. Many nights I wondered if I was going to make things happen.

I took that time off and streamlined my physical space and thoughts. Suddenly, while sitting down, an idea came to me, a simple idea that could answer my question about the quotes. And to be honest, it was obvious. I just was not ready.

I learned from that and I recalled many of the same types of examples that reinforced that lesson. With that breakthrough others come and the are built upon the previous work and the successes from that work. As I said previously, it is incredible to watch the discoveries, experience the growth and associate the concepts of economic development mentally, spiritually and tangibly. Things I learned sitting in class in college but now applying them step by step

It is amazing how the skies become clearer every day. And each day quantum leaps are taken.

I had the opportunity to have lunch on Monday with an extraordinary woman. She is very accomplished in her profession. She is an editor and a writer. She asked me,
"Walter, what happened to all of those people you knew when the crisis came? I tought that the old boy school network would rally around you. That is how I understood that it was suppose to be". She understood correctly as her background is the same but from the old girl school network point of view.

I thought about that for the last several days. I forgot that I just did not call anyone. I was embarrassed and I also wanted to do this alone. I did not want to cut corners. I also was afraid that I may not be able to cut corners. In the end, I am glad I made the decisions I made and perservered. Of course if it were not for the people I have met along the way, I do not know if I would be here now saying this.

I made my debut at an alumni event a few days ago. It was time. It was easy to do and the building blocks were in place. With that other things are beginning to take place. From the development of my communication and management systems, coupled with work in each separate aspect of my life, I am now able to contribute to Skid Row in a different way.

I have been talking with City Officials, and business leaders that I know to bring about industries to this area. I believe it can be down. I believe that they components are there. Now that I do not have to concentrate so much on myself, I can put energies into things that can help others.

That is the beauty of staying here for a while and progressing. The skies become clearer for me and I am able to see the pieces more clearly that need to be assembled for productive gain for the community. I would love to see jobs here. JObs make people feel apart of something. Jobs get rid of that frustration and anger.

Clarity is coming each day as to how to bring components together down here to make things happen. Some people are working on the streets and with city officials. Some people are communicating with city officials and business owners. All are constantly developing financial alliances to access necessary resources when the timing is right when the long complex process of development and bonding has matured to the point that warrants commitment from the vital parties.

Economic Development and Regional development were courses I loved at Penn. I see the process in me and can see it unfolding in the community. There are clusters of nodes of strength that are slowly being linked together. Many times the vital links come from outside the VISIBLE area but within the immediate area of impact. That is why Skid Row is an example of how EVERYONE HAS TO WORK TOGETHER TO BRING ABOUT Change that is lasting.

That is why I never called anyone. I wanted to grow up and mature and see things and experience things within myself that are vital. They are the invisible and vital tools that build character and creativity. Necessity is the source of invention. Is that the statement? IT is close enough. If I had called people to come to my rescue I would not have had the opportunity to go through the pain that brings about growth. I would not have the opportunity to develop confidence in an area that I never needed before. or should I say I did not know I needed it.

I needed to find a way to survive emotionally and in other ways. I survived those periods. Skid Row has to endure and survive. It will take collective creativity to correct these problems as they are ever present in this community. They are ever present in our society. Skid Row mirrors are society and is the measure of how successful we are in working withourselves and eachother: cooperating with ourselves and eachother: in order to understand ourselves and eachother.

I made a commitment to myself. Others made a commitment to me. We all were making a commitment to our community and to our society. We all have to live with ourselves. We have to live with eachother. We must help eachother and prove that it can yield results. That is what I did for myself. That is what people did to help me and give them the confidence to commit more of themselves- so I can have the confidence to commit some more of myself to grow and integrate our resouces for the betterment of our communities.

When the skies are clear you see the details of this beautiful mosaic at work. This process is about seeing the trees through the forest--understanding the components that are essential to build a healthy self. From there it is easier to see what is necessary to build a healthy community.

When the skies are clear, you see the links clearly. You see the passages that lead to destinations, and the necessary vehicles that will facilitate a successful journey.

It is nice to see what clarity brings. It is nicer to feel it. I desire to feel more. I desire to see more. My eyes are open as well as my pores. Lets see what is absorbed. Lets see what can be shared. Lets see what the increasing clearer skies tells us to do, TOGETHER.

I have experienced solutions to problems that baffled me for months.
Suddenly ideas popped into my head and I was able to get things done. Simple things. But for some reason I could not resolve the problem.

For instance, the very first time I wrote some material that was put in a blog it was for Eric Richardson on Blogdowntown.

When it was published, Eric put my section in quotes in block quotes. The writing was identifiable by the indentation and separation of the material. That application is very common and is on the production bar of most content publishing software or applications. However, I could not figure out how to do it. I made all of my quotes.

It has been like that in a horizontal sense, in different categories of life, sinc I landed downtown. Sooner or later an answer came that was strong and lasting.

Shooting on San Julian.

On Tuesday night, after leaving work, I passed this corner on 6th and San Julian St. I turned north onto San Julian and rode 20 yds. That took approximately 2 seconds. It is not very clear but the picture at the top shows the man laying on the ground.

I heard a loud pop. I turned around and a man was laying on the ground. He was shot. There were about 70 people standing around the area at the time of the shooting. They were buying, selling and smoking crack. That end of the block is the crack corner. I was told by someone that that used to be called the "Thieves Corner", the place where you would go purchase goods that had been stolen by someone.
I was told you could get anything you wanted and if you did not see it, just place an order for it. Orders would be fulfilled between the 20th and the end of the month when cash ran out.

People stood around the man and from a distance I thought they were trying to help him. It became clear that was not the case. They started removing his watch and wallet and searched him for any money.

The ambulance came and took him away.

I found it interesting that the street had no pedestrians after the ambulance came. Everyone cleared out.

In the aftermath, several community activists investigated the circumstances and ascertained that it was a crack deal gone bad. The concern was that there would not be an upsurge in drive by shootings and gang violence. I found it interesting when he said to me on the cell phone.

"Walter, I am here on the corner. I am not worried now. It is business as usual. Everyone is buying, selling and smoking crack. If no one was there, I would be worried because it would mean that outsiders did the shooting and everyone would worry about drive bys. That means everybody would not be on the block unless they went and retrieved their guns. that is the danger. So now that I found out everybody is smoking crack, I can go home."

Wow, isn't that a unique perspective. I know that this man hates crack in the area. Yet is relieved that people are smoking crack now as it signals to him that the neighborhood is safe from other dangers.

A Skid Row perspective. unique

Growing up

Sunday was the culmination of a lot of years-a lot of work. Not just the time that I have been down here. But all of the years before that. The decisions to change my life. The baby steps taken to beginning that process. These were things that developed over a period of time--like not going out past midnight to get anything to consume. Even that was not the starting point. The starting point was something along the lines of not going with someone, that I don't know, to some place where I have never been, in a car that may not belong to them for some drugs.

Then the bottom, etc. but it has been an ongoing process.
And yes, I was right when I said I needed time to let the air clear after obtaining a job and getting the license back and preparing to see my mother. I had no idea how stressed out I have been for such a long period of time.

Since coming back from my mother's house, there has been a sense of calm about me. A since of reuniting. not just with my mother but that reunification was the glue that bound other things together and brought other feelings and discoveries to the surface. And all of this happened on mother's day. The meaning of that day has so many different shades to it now.

I also worked alonside my sister to clear out some things. So yes it was a big step for the family.

But as I was saying, there has been this sense of calm. I looked at the room this morning and all of a sudden things were cleared away. Working day after day has yielded results. I could use the push up bars that I purchased. However, becareful what you wish for because the first ten pushups were a struggle. But so what. I do not mind starting out with a struggle. I have struggled before and look where I am now.

I checked out craigslist and found some opportunities. All of those days that I worked on my resumes--first breaking through the mental and psychological walls were worth it. I can assemble things together with aplomb and put in my bid and wait and see what happens. My renewed broker license adds to my credentials. So it is coming together.

I am beginning to see what they meant by things opening up. Just be patient. It was hard but things are opening up and I developed a system of management that placed and maintained building blocks one step at a time and one day at a time. A learning process, a process that taught me more about myself than anything I have ever been through.

Yes, the University of Skid Row has been an experience. It has let me mode my own curriculum. The beautiful part about it is that it is not over.

With this new attitude, coupled with my management and communication systems in place, it is easier to explore opportunities and discover opportunites. Clarity brings about creativity as well.

Yes, as I told an official at the University of Pennsylvania the other day,
I have finally grown up. I was talking to a friend yesterday. We talked for hours. I could not put my finger on it until now. But that, in essensce is what has taken place. I have grown up. MOre on that topic later.
I grew up at the University of Skid Row.

a great day.

My sister opened the door for me when I was approaching the house. I stopped outside for a moment and just started at the place. My sister had done a beautiful job refurbishing it.

I was excited and nervous.

She told me mom was in the bed still. I took out three different groups of flowers and spread them across the coffee table. My sister told me to be quiet and surprise her. Then, I took out the teddy bear and it took a couple of minutes for me to regain my composure. finally I walked in the bedroom and gave mom a big hug.

That is how it started. I am too overwhelmed to go any further. I will tomorrow.
I wanted to write really creative prose but I am unable to go there.

I just know that today was a very good beginning for me and my family. My sister worked together to clear some of the stuff out of the house. That was great.

It is the start of a new chapter for the Melton family. It really is. I felt a need to say certain things but it is ok. I love my family and I really love my sister.

Her husband drove me back downtown.

Sure, tears came down when I was leaving. I had to leave before I started crying too much. I have work to do before I see mom again in two weeks. I have planning to do. I have work to do.

I have ideas.

I am going to my room to read and get started. It was a great day.

I

I am preparing to see MOM

Last you at this time, I remember I was miserable.

One thing for sure. Mother's Day is a sacred day on Skid Row. People hussle around and go see their mothers. I remember when I was living in the Transition House. Every person was making plans. The men were going to see their mothers, wives and girlfriends. The women were excited that their children were coming to pick them up. Some were expecting to see their boyfriends or husbands, who were hoping that the women were going to stick out the programs that they were in.

I can tell you I was in the guard shack. No doubt I was writing away on sheets of paper. The guard shack was my sanctuary except for the advertisements that came on the television about mother's day.

I hated the commercials. Everyone was going to see their mothers and I couldn't see mine. I could not write mine. I was miserable. I cried most of the day, no doubt about that either.

Mother's Day on Skid Row is different than any other day on Skid Row. Nothing compares to it. Even Christmas. It is second place to mother's Day.

Why?

It softens people. It is hard to decribe but it softens people. All of the
"bad boy" personality that is in anyone appears to be exorcised for at least 24 hours.

It is amazing. If you are not going to go see your mother, you arer admonished by everyone. The mothers in the shelters are served dinner by the men. It is that kind of day.

Yes, I remember last year. God do I remember it. 13 months ago was the last day I saw my mother. I rode my bike away from the house and was extremely upset.

I discovered I had a flat tire and it was difficult riding all of the way back to Skid Row. I stopped several times to smoke a cigarette and to collect my thoughts.

I was so upset that I was glad to get to Skid Row. Even at that time, I can still remember being relieved that I was back at the compound where at least I was accepted.

My mom wanted me home but their were others that did not. The court certainly did not want me home.

Now the judge is like my best friend.

I went today and I totally fixed my bicycle. I cut off the old locks. I put on a new chain and tire. I did some maintenance that gave the bicycle a new look.

Today I cut my hair in anticipation for seeing my mother.
It feels good to be able to be a part of the holiday.

I have emailed a couple of mothers. I want to email all mothers and tell them Happy Mothers Day. I am happy and tomorrow my mother will be surprised and happy to see me tomorrow. IT will be the start of a new life.

Happy mothers day.